Alive & Kicking - NOT!

Today is our wedding anniversary. For eighteen years we've been living together, loving each other, annoying each other and doing all those crazy things married people do (like falling asleep on the couch, eating together in total silence, telling each other how to drive, etc). At some point today we'll look back on wedding day and think 'What an odd day!'

First there was the style and fashion of 1992. I had poodle hair because the big hair craze of the late 1980s hadn't quite wrapped up. On our wedding day I was sporting a righteous perm for 'just a little of extra body.' Meanwhile Hubby had his porn mustache all trimmed up. Yet I thank God that we married after the era of powder blue tuxes. (1970s, I'm looking at you!)

Second, what you won't find from our wedding day is an official album or staged wedding pictures. Sure, we hired a photographer -- the same one my sister used a few years earlier. But, oddly, he didn't show up. By the end of the wedding ceremony it dawned on my family that the photog was a no show. Fortunately every member of my family had their own camera and started taking pictures like a crazed pack of paparazzi, otherwise we wouldn't have any recorded memories of the day.

"There's no reason for this unless he's dead," my mother hissed.

Good thing that's exactly what happened. While on our honeymoon my sister tracked down the home of said photographer to find that he had passed away not too long before our blessed event.

I don't know if it's good luck or bad luck for a photog to die before your wedding. But we've got almost two decades under our belt to show for it.

Yurts So Good

A hobby of mine is to search the Internet for writing conferences in beautiful locales. What better way to create a reason to go somewhere? Recently I was looking at conferences in Washington state and found a writers festival on Orcas Island in the Puget Sound. The scenery is breathtaking and one needs to take a ferry to get to the island. Awesome!

After I scanned the agenda I took a look at accommodations on the island. There are B&Bs, cute little inns and yurts. Yurts! Now I never thought to put myself up in a yurt to save some cash on these trips. If you're not familiar with the yurt concept, I direct you here. Think of it as camping in the round without electricity or water. You can fit a double bed in there but not much else.

I camped a lot as a kid but have stayed away from it in adulthood. And I can't imagine I would willingly rent something like a yurt, especially while attending a writing conference. Where would I plug in the laptop? How would I write my evening assignments -- quill and parchment? How many people do I need shove aside to get in my morning shower and chow? It all sounds like too much effort. Instead I imagine myself at some quaint B&B waiting for the proprietor to pull the freshly made scones out of the oven.

However, the yurt is much, much cheaper.

Eventually I cast aside this conference (sadly) and chose a class in Los Angeles where I have friends who can offer me free housing and electricity. Obviously I am no Henry David Thoreau.

Trend Setter

Count me as the last human being on planet Earth to begin, yes, begin, reading the Harry Potter series. The first book, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, was released in the U.S. in 1998. Know how long ago 1998 was? Here are some of the notable events (and tell me if you don't feel old just because you remember them):

• The Monica Lewinski media circus and Bill Clinton's denial that leads to his impeachment
• Europe agrees to establish the Euro
• France wins the World Cup (France?!)
• A gallon of gas cost $1.15
• The hey day of the boy bands (N*Sync, Backstreet Boys, etc)
• Magic Johnson tries his hand hosting his own late night talk show
• The Mark McGwire/Sammy Sosa steroid home run derby
• The Cosby Show is still on TV

Is it any wonder I feel a bit late to the party?

My 11 year old niece is egging me on to read the series. She, of course, has read them all at least once, but she'll take my hand and lead me from the world of the Muggles to Hogwarts and beyond. I'm almost done with the first book and I can see (only 12 years after everyone else) the appeal.

After I'm done I may watch the movie There's Something About Mary which also came out in 1998. I never saw it. So what the hell was I doing in 1998 anyway?

One of These Things Is Not Like the Others

Recently a co-worker was mystified that grass produced pollen. "It doesn't bloom," he insisted. Tell that to the poster child for seasonal allergies...namely, me!

I created this sign and put it outside his cubicle while he was at lunch. It promptly came down but I think the point was made.

Now pass the good drugs and flip on the A/C.