Reuniting With An Ex

I’m feeling a bit uppity today. An old love recently re-entered my life. We had a heady relationship in my early 20s – lots of late nights and early mornings. It was an exciting, frenzied time when I felt focused and more like myself than ever before (and, in some ways, ever since). When we had to break it off in my mid-20s, I was having heart palpitations and had become increasingly miserable. My too-much-of-a-good thing relationship had run its course. It was time for me to walk away and find my way in the adult world. For a long time I didn’t miss my love; I didn’t dwell on what was in my past. Then the spring of 2009 happened and fate brought us together again.

Yes, my old love, caffeine, is back giving me joy and, uh, alertness like I haven’t had in many a day/month/year/decade. So I know you’re asking: how could a common chemical make you into a swooning teenager again? Don’t you remember how badly it all ended?

This spring I was facing a Sophie’s Choice type of dilemma. You’d probably have done the same thing.

My lifelong spring hay fever kicked in with a vengeance. I was housebound, told to stay in air conditioning and limit physical activity. I was constantly sleepy and a wee bit cranky (ok, a lot bitchy). My whole life consisted of the inside of my house, the interior of my car and my basement work cubicle. The outside world was dead to me –doctor’s orders.

The Herculean challenge was finding an anti-histamine I could tolerate. Like Goldilocks, one made me very sleepy, another made me very uptight, and the third made me as stupid as bucket of sand. I missed work, stared off into space and wondered if I my skin would become so pasty that I would be translucent.

I worked with the allergy clinic on options and we kept coming back to one drug that had helped me in the past but just wasn’t keeping me coherent this time. (see here for more about my prior adventures) We decided to ditch the generic and go with the name brand even thought I had to pay more for it. Bingo! I got a bit sleepy but not all moronic like I had with the generic. Suddenly I could take part in the outside world. I abandoned my plans to live as cloistered nun and rejoined society.

But the sleepiness, while not debilitating, was an undercurrent in my life. Then one day at work I filled a cup with ice and poured in a fully-sugared Coca Cola. In about a half hour I swear I could see the face of god and recite Shakespeare. I was witty, jovial and, most surprising, focused. It was the focus that I had been lacking for, what, months? Years? Now I recall how I got through college.

I need to be careful how much time I spend with my old love. Too much and I am blathering my way to edginess and spending late nights looking for life’s answers on my bedroom ceiling – fully awake.

I see where we went wrong all those year ago. We spent too much time together. By finding that right balance I think we will be a wonderful couple once again.

Mini Book Review - July Edition

I've spent too much time reading People, Entertainment Weekly and other mags about nothing in particular lately. Really, could I care less about the Gosselins and their bizarre marriage? If I hear about Mischa Barton again my eyes will permanently roll into the back of my head. So it's time to toss aside what passes for Pop Culture and get a life. Here is a summary of the last three books I've read.

Admission by Jean Hanff Korelitz is about a woman who is an admissions officer at Princeton. If you ever wondered how kids get into those Ivies, here's your chance to step behind the curtain. Portia is the woman burdened with the job of making or breaking young lives. It's a job she takes seriously -- as Hanff Korelitz reminds us over and over again. The book takes us into the brain and thought process of Portia in great detail. About halfway into the book, as the plot starts to come together, I found that I didn't care about Portia's life anymore. I skimmed through the book to find the key plot points and called it a day. If you have aspirations to get your child (or yourself) into an Ivy you will probably enjoy the book. Admission has received good reviews but it just didn't blow up my skirt. Maybe because we spent A LOT of time in Portia's brain, getting bogged down in the excruciating detail of her woes. I wanted to scream, "Get over yourself!" Instead, I got over myself and moved on to...

Dog On It by Spencer Quinn. This is probably the most fun I've had reading a book this year. Bernie is a private investigator who, along with his trusty partner, Chet, solve mysteries. Did I mention Chet is a dog? And the story is told from Chet's perspective? If you're a dog lover or enjoy a good mystery, or both, here's a book that will have you laughing out loud. I'm glad to see that Bernie and Chet will be back with a new book in early 2010. Sign me up!

Just this week I started and finished Time of My Life by Allison Winn Scotch. Beside loving her name I am a fan of her two novels. TOML will be released in paperback next week and is being made into a movie. The story centers around Jillian Westfield's supposedly perfect life: her perfect husband, perfect daughter, perfect home. Except Jill isn't all that content. When she finds out that a former love is getting married she becomes unhinged. Fate allows her to go back seven years and, with the knowledge of her older self, have a chance to do it all over again, correctly this time, she thinks. What I love about Winn Scotch's writing is that she reveals great insight into the female mind but doesn't get preachy. Both of Winn Scotch's books have stuck with me days after I've finished. That's a sign of good authoring!

My People subscription runs dry next week. I'm determined to dig into those books that have been on my list for too long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not running off to the woods to read Thoreau or Tolstoy. I just want to read something I can gnaw on for awhile. I also vow to become re-engaged in current events (that don't involve wandering spouses and a Hollywood backdrop). Let's see how long this lasts.