Dumb Headlines Are Dumb

I was online this past week catching up on news (and celebrity gossip since my People subscription is now history). I saw a headline that asked:

What's Next For Ted Kennedy?

This was Thursday. The senator had passed away earlier in the week. The first responses that came into my head were:

"Continued death" and

"More of the same"

Really. Who wrote that headline? A fan of 'Weekend at Bernies'? Perhaps the more correct headline would have been:

What's Next for Ted Kennedy's Body?

I mean when you're dead there isn't much of a next thing in store. It's kind of a moot point, right?

Upon further consideration I'm sure the headline writer is a recent college grad making minimum wage to break into online news. The problem is with the editor who let that go out. Unfortunately the headline was changed before I got a screen shot as proof.

So take my word for it. Either that or I was in another allergy-related haze. Which is entirely possible.

May I Have Your Pic-a-nic Basket?

Enjoying a lovely late summer evening in America's Northwoods. Good friends, good wine, lots of laughs. All of sudden TJ says, "Oh, my God!" I turn around expecting to see a cool loon or a spiffy boat. Instead I see a bear cub running past us about 10 yards away.

We collectively gasp. Of the 5 in the group, 4 start running for the house. TJ has an armful of wine bottles and Reidel stemware. (If she was on the Titanic, she would have taken a whole lifeboat for her and the wine.) I grabbed nothing but my panic and headed for the safety of the indoors. (See here for how I have handled life-threatening in the past.)

As we're all running for our lives (not because bear cubs are scary but mama bears certainly are) Tam wanted to say hello and "pet the bear." A couple of us stopped in disbelief. This ain't Boo Boo looking for Yogi or Mr. Ranger or a puppy. Tam's hubby grabbed her arm and pulled her kicking and screaming into the house. All evening she has been stating her case as to why we were never in danger and the bear wanted to make some new friends.

The adreneline rush will keep me awake for awhile. Guess I'll surf the Hannah Barbera website to pass the time.

Is This Man Deranged?

I'm appalled at the circus that is Brett Favre. The future hall of fame, retired-unretired-not-sure, gotta-get-surgery-oh-never-mind-what-the-heck-I'll-play quarterback is back. Again. Of course one needs predictability in life: summer fades into fall, Thanksgiving comes before Christmas, the Big 10 will suck in football bowl games. These are all things I know for sure and can rely on.

A new certainty has sprung into our lives the same way mosquitoes know when to reappear each summer. Brett Favre will retire, unretire, contradict himself and lead us on a wild goose chase each spring and summer. For some reason we care (probably to take our minds off of the latest steroid mess in Major League Baseball).

I don't believe that Mr. Favre is a wavering mess of uncertainty. Each post-season he crafts a well-orchestrated agenda for how the next season will play out.

March: Choose the team; ones close to Wisconsin are favored

April: Make comments to the media about coming back but cloak with vague comments about diminished ability

May: Leak info about health issues; have family make hotel reservations for future games

June: Be sure future head coach is found to have had recent contact

July: Promise to make final decision by month end

Early August: Formally announce intention to stay retired

Late August: Unretire (just as training camp is wrapping up)

And that, my friends, is the reason why Number 4 goes through this mockery each year. Dude doesn't want to go to training camp. This is a long drawn-out precision drill to avoid what he doesn't want: living in a dorm room to be yelled at by coaches and sweated on by teammates. BF would have announced his return months ago if he was given a Get Out Of Training Camp Free Monopoly card.

Why does this bug so me much? Many are outraged that he will play for one of the Green Bay Packers mortal enemies. Others are tired of his wishy-washy ways. Hey, retire or don't. Just make up your freakin' mind. I am most bothered by the manipulation...all in a ploy to get out of two-a-days. This isn't about his heart or the ableness of his throwing arm. It's about having it his way with his own set of rules. That is what we call a true male diva, kids.

I will watch the Packer-Vikings games with interest and look closely at how his teammates, you know, the ones who worked their asses off in training camp, interact with him.

So grab a brat and a beer. Let's see how this gig plays out.

Thanks to the snarky guys at Sconnie Nation for entertaining me to no end with their 'Brent' Favre commemorative t-shirt. You guys are brilliant.

The Latest Touching Marital Moment

Me: Hey, I have a small tear in my rotator cuff just like Brett Favre

Hubby: But you're not going to make $25 million in the next two years

More Fun Than A Barrel Full of, er, Cats

My latest fun thing to do is visit the website http://icanhascheezburger.com/. This site always makes me laugh. To appreciate the comedy that is I Can Has Cheezburger one must know a few things:

• Cats speak an odd, almost Eastern European style of English. They also don't spell very well.
• Cats live for cheeseburgers; their favorite food
• Black cats are known as 'basement cats' and want to steal your soul
• White cats are 'ceiling cats' and have heavenly traits
• Each pic is captioned but don't forget to read the secondary caption below in blue
• Dogs are called 'goggies' and aren't completely trustworthy

Besides LOLcats, there are also LOLdogs, LOL celebrities and a Fail Blog on this site. But the cats create the most humor. You don't even need to be a cat lover. For every cute pic there are about 10 smarmy ones.

Above is my LOLcat of MJ, our 12 year old kitteh. He likes only two living beings: me and Hubby. He isn't a nasty cat, just shy and suspicious of strangers. Last year we dog sat the perfect dog, God's dog if you will. MJ was not a fan. To this day Hubby can pant like a dog and freak out MJ. We all need a hobby I guess.

The site posts about 5 pics a day which makes it perfect for quick breaks at work. At some point the IT gods will catch on and block that site like they do YouTube and Facebook. In the meantime you can find me in my cubicle LOLing.