World Cup? What's That?

Why do Americans not care about soccer? Sure, we're making a good effort during the World Cup, watching the U.S. games and ignoring the others. Billions of people love soccer. Me? I watched a good chunk of that match with England and couldn't get too enthused. First I didn't understand the rules. (But then explain American football to anyone from another country. Don't you feel silly talking about downs and yards?) Second I have no idea when the match will end. (Americans love to see a countdown clock...in hundredths of a second, please.)

But then I look at baseball. Talk about dull. How much action takes place in a typical game? About three minutes? Hell, the announcers need to be master storytellers to fill the time between pitches. Generations of us have used baseball as our summer background music while we make dinner, clean the house or doze off at night.

Soccer fans, though, are completely engaged for the entire match. How do they do it? Do they have better attention spans than us? Plus they are often plowed so that's a real talent.

Ah, the inferior American once again.