I’m feeling a bit uppity today. An old love recently re-entered my life. We had a heady relationship in my early 20s – lots of late nights and early mornings. It was an exciting, frenzied time when I felt focused and more like myself than ever before (and, in some ways, ever since). When we had to break it off in my mid-20s, I was having heart palpitations and had become increasingly miserable. My too-much-of-a-good thing relationship had run its course. It was time for me to walk away and find my way in the adult world. For a long time I didn’t miss my love; I didn’t dwell on what was in my past. Then the spring of 2009 happened and fate brought us together again.
Yes, my old love, caffeine, is back giving me joy and, uh, alertness like I haven’t had in many a day/month/year/decade. So I know you’re asking: how could a common chemical make you into a swooning teenager again? Don’t you remember how badly it all ended?
This spring I was facing a Sophie’s Choice type of dilemma. You’d probably have done the same thing.
My lifelong spring hay fever kicked in with a vengeance. I was housebound, told to stay in air conditioning and limit physical activity. I was constantly sleepy and a wee bit cranky (ok, a lot bitchy). My whole life consisted of the inside of my house, the interior of my car and my basement work cubicle. The outside world was dead to me –doctor’s orders.
The Herculean challenge was finding an anti-histamine I could tolerate. Like Goldilocks, one made me very sleepy, another made me very uptight, and the third made me as stupid as bucket of sand. I missed work, stared off into space and wondered if I my skin would become so pasty that I would be translucent.
I worked with the allergy clinic on options and we kept coming back to one drug that had helped me in the past but just wasn’t keeping me coherent this time. (see here for more about my prior adventures) We decided to ditch the generic and go with the name brand even thought I had to pay more for it. Bingo! I got a bit sleepy but not all moronic like I had with the generic. Suddenly I could take part in the outside world. I abandoned my plans to live as cloistered nun and rejoined society.
But the sleepiness, while not debilitating, was an undercurrent in my life. Then one day at work I filled a cup with ice and poured in a fully-sugared Coca Cola. In about a half hour I swear I could see the face of god and recite Shakespeare. I was witty, jovial and, most surprising, focused. It was the focus that I had been lacking for, what, months? Years? Now I recall how I got through college.
I need to be careful how much time I spend with my old love. Too much and I am blathering my way to edginess and spending late nights looking for life’s answers on my bedroom ceiling – fully awake.
I see where we went wrong all those year ago. We spent too much time together. By finding that right balance I think we will be a wonderful couple once again.
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Adulthood: Not quite what I had in mind
1 comment:
A Military school of thought: Reuniting With an Ex. Lepe. L.F. (2009) http://palooza2.blogspot.com/.
The orderly room always has 24/7 coffee. Coffee’s age, strength and use are directly proportional to viscosity/bouquet as follows:
1) Low quality (LQ): Translucent, discard immediately. May wait for the batch to strengthen but this approach usually results in (C08, C12), does not solve the allergy issue and has little/no caffeine benefit. Lame coffee!
2) High Quality (HQ): Akin to a 1912 Rothschild Cabernet, opaque, yet easily poured, nice bouquet, readily accepting additives as required. Drink immediately! Don’t ask why the miracle occurred just slam it down. (HQ) provides an antihistamine effect and a mild, temporary, lift to the day.
3) 8 Hour Coffee (C08): Opaque with a strong bouquet, consistency of syrup as found in canned peaches. Cruise through an 8 hour day! Public grudgingly accepts (C08) sans sweetener/dairy expecting a solid antihistamine/caffeine punch. Cures hangovers in quantity.
3) 12 Hour Coffee (C12): For Military application, (C12) exists on college campuses, medical/law school. A pungent, burnt smell extends 35 feet from the pot. Bouquet no longer applies. (C12) rocks, though the word love is reserved for veteran drinkers. (C12) pours like (C08), but square the caffeine smack and acidic aftertaste guaranteed to focus your 200 new priorities. Expect flashes of brilliance and alertness beyond that experienced by full sugar "Mountain Dew" drinkers. Serious hangover cure.
4) Weapons Grade Coffee (WGC): "Engineered" as (C12) when brewed using 6 to 8 scoops and a top filter to avert blow-back of the water/grounds mixture in the brewing process. The plastic grounds cup may pop off without direct observation through the brew cycle. (WGC) strengthens geometrically if standing beyond 1 hr. Good (WGC) is the consistency of 5w30 motor oil with a few small curds. (WGC) is reserved for night duty. (WGC) is also found on extended field exercises, night ops and live-fire ranges where high level alertness and efficiency is required for extended periods. Anti-Histamine Slam/Caffeine Blast apply here! To civilian effect: lying awake at night staring at the ceiling, Lepe (2009). Replace and paint the ceiling prior to sunrise! Hangover? I am OZ the great and powerful! What’s an allergy?
5) Thermo-Nuclear (XXX): XXX is a powdered product, processed at least 25 years ago, lying dormant/inert. When mixed with plastic flavored canteen water in the [cup, canteen, general issue, one each.] and heated with a Sterno tab: You’ll feel the love and take back stuff you ain’t bought yet! Adding a second dry envelope is a mission critical success or failure option: “Kansas is gone”; "the witch is real"; and Toto helped brew.” XXX is best used in Combat or extended field ops. When consuming XXX remember not to breathe as to actually taste it. XXX is not about taste, friendship, love or any such luxury.
Just survive the mission! Three envelopes of XXX dry are acceptable in the event of impending enemy capture.
Consumption of (C8), (C12), and (WGC) over a military career, and annual doses of XXX, negates the caffeine kick on sheer quantity. The body says: Is that all you got, and (HQ) and (LQ) coffee have no effect; they simply become an unconscious thing, much like breathing. The cumulative/ongoing diuretic effect results in the body’s inability to spare fluid for watery eyes or congested nasal passages. Jitters, “blathering” and the highs and lows of amateur consumption fade away. Drink a pot of (HQ), (LQ), or even (C08) in the hours between dinner and bedtime and sleep like a baby. Heart palpitations quit as the nerve impulses are slapped down by blood caffeine levels.
Embrace the challenge. Be the Coffee. And feel the love! Over and through, Wow it’s 5:00am already!
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